The biggest decision I ever made was the one to become a mother. I had done all of the motherly duties, the motherly loving, stress, late night worries… and yet at the end of the day no matter how much I was deeply and truly in love with those adorable kids, they still weren’t my babies. And so I planned for it, I bought for it, I emerged myself in it… and yet I just wasn’t on board with it at all. I planned and purchased for five years… and never decided in all of that time to take the plunge.

Then one day, we were attending a funeral for the kids’ grandma, Beeta. Sitting there in the church I heard an overwhelming voice in my head that told me it was now. I didn’t have to listen, it was now. I didn’t have to choose, it was now. I didn’t have to plan, it was now. And I knew that voice was right. So we did it. We jumped in and I became pregnant that very first month.

I was so happy. All of that planning finally put to use. I kept up with my regular life of fitness, diet coke, chocolate bars, chicken and veggies… until I was out shopping at 13 1/2 weeks. I came home from the afternoon and I was suddenly panic stricken when I realized that for several hours I hadn’t even thought about the baby. I knew it right then and there… something was wrong. How could I not be connected to that amazing little being if she was still there. Over the next couple days I miscarried. I was heart broken and sick inside that I had done something horrible that caused it. That I had spent too many years planning, and not enough time had been spent actually living the moment.

Over the next several months I prodded through life. We were building a new house. I spent the days crying in bed, eating junk, and the nights crying in bed and eating junk. We finished building our house, even though my heart really wasn’t in it anymore. This all happened in October. And in January they finally finished the house and we moved in.

That first few weeks I finally started to come back to life, and that seemed to be apparent when in February I found out I was pregnant again. I used that to change my life — and it wasn’t for the better. I stopped working out. I stopped eating the way I had eaten and I started using “cravings” as the basis for why I needed to eat. That included driving through McDonalds because baby wanted french fries… and honestly when she was 14 months that was lie that had gotten out of control.

When she was almost 2 we went on vacation. The most important decision I ever made had become the biggest scam I would ever try to pull over on myself. I couldn’t change… I was a mom now. When I saw the pictures from vacation in December – I knew the lies had to end. I had to come face to face with what being a mom really meant. That mean living my truth. My truth and my purpose had nothing to do with the life I was leading. NOTHING! Yet I had to be the one to change it for me, and not for her. It wasn’t that I was meant to become a mother, that important decision I had made in that church was to stop waiting and start living. That was exactly what I needed to do, and what I had been running away from the entire time. The biggest decision I ever made really wasn’t what I had thought. It wasn’t to become a mother, it was to be me. To live my life, and to live my truth.

I still have days when I struggle with my truth, and have the urge to run away and quit living life. But I need to put one step in front of the other every day regardless in order to do what I was meant to do. What you do today, isn’t about anyone but you. No matter what you think – it really all comes back to that. It’s you. You came here and you’ll leave here – and every second of your life is on you. Make the important decision today to stop running, and start being.

Technorati Tags: life lessons, life path, Living, soul purpose, truth

Often times I find that my clients have such a hard time when I ask them to back up from where they are in their journey because they’ve missed a step or two. And while you may say to yourself that you’d love to jump over a step or two in your journey, I want you to think about the reasons why this is so important.

When we go through a learning process we are often working through emotions or other obstacles that have been blocking our ability to drive our life purpose. And if we choose to skip over this obstacle, we are missing out on the chance to learn a new experience, and work through a life blockage. Now that obstacle may go away quietly for a while, but I promise you that it will always reappear if you haven’t worked through it. I explain this process like this to clients. Life initially tosses a stone in your path. If you pick it up then you can easily toss it to the side of the road, or even put it in your pocket and move on. If you ignore it life then throws a brick at you. And that can hurt depending on if it actually hits you or not. If you can learn what you need to then, you can use it to build your foundation. If you choose, however, to not listen to it, life will then drop a wall on you. Life will make you listen one way or another.

So when you realize that you’ve missed a few lessons on the path, go back and pick them up. In the end you’ll be far better off than taking the short cut, and you’ll learn something magical that you were meant to learn anyway.

Technorati Tags: learning, life lessons, Process

I often think about the things we say, the way we appear, the way others see us because of this. It’s interesting to see that what we are often showcasing is a bunch of bolgona and yet people see chicken. Right? It’s the smoke and mirror sort of effect in real life. So I thought about this today and I thought – what am I smoking people on and why?

First off… I think I often come across as being the super foodie. I eat loads of healthy food and I post about it often. But what I find is that if you put a cookie in front of me – and there is no corn or nuts in it.. I’m going to eat it and another one if I can find it. Then later I’m going to say, “I don’t understand why I’m just not losing much weight????” Been there lately? But if I were living a life of full truths, of full accountability I would be walking the walk and not just talking the talk. It’s the coach take your own coaching advice moment. I have these often. It’s like you’ve been sent to me just to make it clearer to me where I’m supposed to be heading.

So today I ask that you showcase the real bologna and not the chicken. Just pick on piece of bologna… you don’t have to give out the entire package today.

Technorati Tags: Coaching, life lessons, smoke and mirrors, truth